But that He heals

Many of the things that have been 
said to me or I’ve said to myself were 
baseless or distorted; said in effort to 
tear down in order to salvage a fragile ego; 
a comment said in passing that was simply unkind;
a conscious effort to thwart my potential; 
something that was said through the lens of pain 
since hurt people, hurt people.

It stuck. The seeds of darkness grew. 
At times, I hurt others; but always, I 
blamed myself. I replayed each encounter
until I was stuck in a shame cycle. One can 
only have so much self-hate until they break. 

I broke. And I broke open. 

In my most desperate time is when 
I was met with the most patient love. 

None of my hurt was erased, but I 
no longer had to carry it alone. 

It didn’t start with a radical 
mindset renewal. It started with 
simple words of truth–a healing salve, 
and genuine love–a healing balm.  

The renewal of my mind was gradual; 
the hatred I had for myself started to heal. 
I was told I had worth. That I was created
for such a time as this. On purpose. For a 
purpose. I was told I was chosen, loved. 
I received forgiveness. And in that, freedom.

The hurt I went through was not the 
intent, but has been used for good–
allowing me to extend empathy, 
understanding, 
hope. 

My scars aren’t evidence that God hurts, 
but that He heals.